Friday 30th march
Grandfather’s birthday today. I sent him some images of my work in progress, I’m sure he would have preferred a bottle of bells.

Not submitted a post for this blog all week due to being massively busy, all the girls at work have decided to take their holiday at the same time or more selfishly be off sick, so I have to actually do something to earn my corn for a change.

Bullets and church coming along nicely hit 50 yesterday and had a visit from Dave of Gateway Church on Wednesday.

Went to the show in the Merion on Tuesday night. Too didactic I thought. OK so I thought this but not using the word didactic, that was given to me the following day when Dave and John visited me in the church and brought me coffee and cake, like some poor homeless person. The technicians went through the building like a pack of dogs pawing over furniture and material to take. Dave left with a rather beautiful drape from the alter, John with a set of draws and a side table.

We discussed my work and they seemed impressed, impressed enough not to mock at least. They asked why I hadn’t filled the last place around the alter and also used the pulpit.
I explained I would not try and put bullets in the places recognised as where the vicar would stand. I wanted to leave a vacuum or space where the position of authority would usually stand or occupy. I was not trying to point a finger at the church; this would be like shooting fish in a barrel. I was pointing a finger at the congregation however. Asking about individual responsibility, there should be no leader’s only individuals within a group.

Spent the entire day yesterday in the church managed to knock out four casts before going outside and finding my car smashed in. Someone had crashed into it in the morning. Thank god the police had been on the scene and left theirs and the driver’s details. Bent my bodywork from off my back wheel and drove up the street in a car that looks now like something out of a demolition derby. 3 crashes in 18 months and I was only in the car on one of those occasions.

Had a few too many drinks last night with Vicky the Burlesque performer. Let’s be brief. Of Sicilian extraction, married to a crack addict DJ from Sheffield, performs burlesque, into hardcore bondage and other things to weird to discuss here, knows some people I know (worryingly) DJs herself and does the festival circuit. As a semi confirmed misanthrope I’m not sure I’m ready for this level of human contact.

Got home sometime around 3. Severe cramp all night waking me up in some terrible pain. Must have been all the walking.

March 22nd
Got up a little later than normal and hit the church at 8, spent the first half hour on the phone to Hong Kong. She dangled the possibility that she may visit in the next two weeks once more, she would finalise plans tomorrow. Off to India on Saturday to visit friends. Their is not a country in the world that does not contain some friend of hers. She said she would do some travelling and that her friends were going to give her "One of their drivers" to help her. "Which was nice".
Made a couple of bullets before moving the stock pile out of the chapel and around the church. Surprisingly busy looking space already, even though the building is rather large. Still have another 57 to make and still haven’t moved the 14 from the studio.
David Calder popped by with a friend for a tour of the building. We had a brief chat about the alters. They should be burned and not used again, theologically speaking, but David said, that in itself would be a small crime as they are hard wood. If I move one across to Rangthorne, I can have the other. A plan I later put to my chippy mate in the Adelphi. But first home then work.

The Adelphi was busy with business and creative types, I was at the bar ordering some food when a woman started chatting with me. Vicky is a Burlesque performer and she suggested I come to her show next month at the Adelphi (The Wet Spot). We swapped numbers and then she said I should call her before then for a drink. OK that doesn’t happen very often and they are not usually burlesque performers. We shall see. Not really my type but interesting none the less.

Had a few drinks with the lads. All was good, jumped in a cab went home and crashed.

Wednesday 21 March

Got up early had a big breakfast and then went into the studio/church. Managed to produce 4 bullets and then went off to work via home. It’s been the same routine now for the past 10 days or so. This has not lead to the most exciting of life styles and my hands are falling apart from a combination of the cold the water and the plaster.

So far I have managed to construct 35 bullets, 14 of which are in the old mining building. Once I work out how to move them they will be shifted onto the church site.

At work I was regaled by the days happenings in the life of Jim. Jim is a 55 year old man who cleans at South Leeds. Never taken a day off sick in 8 years and never taken a day’s holiday. When I asked why he didn’t take a day’s holiday he said.

"I wouldn’t know where to go"

Sat, sun and Mon 19th March
I spent the entire weekend save some hours of sleep in the church making bullets. Very much alone,
very cold and at times, past 8 at night, a little frightened. Listened to the radio and all of the sport as I worked. Only managed to get 8 bullets done though Not quite sure where the time went. Started each morning at 8 and worked through the day.

Had a couple of beers with Alex on Sunday night at the Adelphi and then took him to see the project in the church. He was very impressed by the building and a little flummoxed by the work. .
Still this is to be expected and I’m sure when the show is on most people will see the building as more interesting than the work. We will see if this changes at all when there are many more bullets and Ronas work is also covering the floor space.

Spent Monday doing the same thing, slept in a little and did not start until after 8 so only got three bullets done before going up to the studio for a bit of human contact and a coffee. Not missing anything so I went home cleaned, ate, showered and went off to work. Same old same old.

Dug out a copy of "The Road to Wigan Pier” and started to re- read. It’s a toss up between home and note making, with Chelsea playing Tottenham or the library and Context in Practice. No prizes for guessing which I chose.

16th March
OK so the blog goes on, and that’s the point really. Had a one on one tutorial with Richard today and he asked "What’s a blog” , rightly so. I must admit the blog is being used merely as a vehicle and I detest the whole second life culture and idea that anyone gives a damn what I write on the net. It is very self centred, but then Nietzsche says that

"In the final analyses all one experiences is ones self"(40)

I have been re-re-reading Zarathustra recently.

Got up and went into the church for 6.30am and started casting,
was joined by Hammam at 7 and we talked while I worked until 8.45. Went for a coffee and the paper and then into the studio, a quick chat with a number of students and staff and then into the seminar. Nice to hear the lecturers tell us that we are to do what we see fit, in the practice in context, and while some complained about not having any rules to follow I was over the moon at the scope of the field of play. As I said to Richard later, “as creative people we should relish such an opportunity to be creative and think outside of the normal dissertation parameters.” Just enough rope with which to hang myself.

Had a good strong talk with Richard, I think he realises my enthusiasm, now I just need to make it come across in my “Practice in Context”.

Went back to the church and cast another bullet before leaving for work.

Tracey arrived and declared her "Hood was not swollen or infected" she had just had her nipple and clitoris pierced. To much information I thought.

Home, beer, food, coma.

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(40) Fredrich Nietzsche “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” Penguin Books 1969

Wednesday 14th March
She informs me she is not coming back in April, do you know I'm not really bothered I am surely to busy right now to accommodate visitors. She will still be going on to see her friends no doubt and she is still off to India.

Managed to construct one bullet in the morning before meeting Tony Smith from Gateway church with Rona. Tony was very positive and also keen to help. David Calder wandered in during the meeting said nothing and then left. I do hope I have not upset him.


Closed up the church returned to the studio, cleaned up all my equipment and then loaded it on to a trolley. With help from John and Dave we went off to the church (they just wanted to be nosey really) showed them around unloaded and said my goodbyes, they went back to school and I to work.
Stopped and spoke to the community support officers outside let them know what I was doing gave them mine and Rona’s name and explained they should look out for us.

Work, home, bed.

I pondered all day, how I am going to display and present the finished bullets. I am still unsure. In rows along the pews, huddled in a corner, filling the chapel and war memorial, I just don’t know yet. Need to see them in the space to know. The vestry will definitely work and I rooted out and started to assemble all manner of artefacts and bric-a-brac from the church that will go very nicely in the display cases with, my found shrapnel and possibly the baseball bats (possibly). This style of presentation s something that I enjoy in Mark Dions work. “Thames Dig” especially.

Whilst the process of Gleaning the original shrapnel from the fields of Verdun was very much like the process performed by Dion in his work, that is where the similarity ends. To help me describe where I believe my own work fits best, contemporary sculptor Beth Galston writes:

"An environmental sculptor plans a piece from the very beginning in relationship to its surroundings. The site is a catalyst, becoming part of the creative process." (38)

Artists who have influenced me both directly and indirectly in this area are Edward Kienholz, Robert Smithson, Richard Serra, Andy Goldsworthy and Anthony Gormley but to name a few. I am not working with nature as with land art/ earth works like Smithson or even Goldsworthy but placing something in an environment where it becomes part of and reacts with, its surroundings. Perhaps not in the entirely physical way of Smithson or Goldsworthy but maybe in a philosophical, theoretical even theological way.
Image taken during my visit to Goldsworthy show at the Yorkshire Sculpture park 2007

I had not chosen the exact location from the very start, once I had made a trip to Verdun and collected the shrapnel I knew that I wanted to work in a Church or abandoned building. The fact that both of these elements met in St Marks church was a combination of hard work and great luck. I wanted my work to deal with the formal, political, historical, and social context of both the church (as building and institution) and of man (as individual and constituent. One should speak of the other and serve as both positive and negative examples of the attributes of man and the man made. The relationship between the work and the church will allow the viewer to question human nature and then by default the wider construct of the world.

"The finished sculpture and site become one integrated unit, working together to create a unified mood or atmosphere," (39)



Christian Boltanski "Children of Dijon"


Conrad Atkinson, "Land Mine"



Richar Serra Bilbao, Guggenheim


Robert Smithson, "Spiral Jetty"

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(38)(39) Beth Galston http://www.bethgalston.com/env_sculpt.html
Started the day with the new routine of going to the church at 7am and getting stuck into the clearing up. Filled a few bin liners to the sounds of Talvin Singh as the sun rose through the Alter window. Then went off to school via coffee a paper and a quick call to her.

12th and 13th March
I am falling behind the task now. Each day is a slog just to get the bullets complete, I now have the process nailed down to three a day in office hours but need more time outside this schedule. Will move the process down to the church tomorrow morning and will meet Tony smith from Gateway Church at 1, I think.

Met some of his mate’s yesterday evening when leaving for work I noticed them walk into the church so I went back to make sure Rona was safe. She was and they were cool, but we shall find out more tomorrow.

Getting lots of good vibes about the project now people can see the bullets being made. Need to move them out however or they will loose all impact. I need to create a spectacle as part of the critique into the human condition and the human need to create a spectacle/ show off and to grasp attention and wealth.

Even Hammam is slowly warming to the casts as they start to build in number. The cleaning of the church is coming on nicely and I have been in early every morning doing a little extra here and there. Need to replace some bulbs and clean out the toilet and the balcony but apart from this and some pigeon poo we will be almost there as far as the final condition minus the art.

Need to crack on with this Context work now as deadlines approach. the difficulty with a blog however is that there is no particular end, well not one that will meet the word count and the deadline. I must their fore resolve myself to start rapping things up from here on in.

Friday the 9th March
Woke with a banging head ache, saw throat and runny nose. Out of bed at 7am as could not sleep for some time. Lots of breakfast followed by drive into school. Police everywhere around St Marks, some one must have been “stabbed up” or killed.

Library blog, emails and sun dream team, fucking disaster, still rooted to the bottom of the league just like my Hammers.

Into the studio and straight into cast number one. Managed to do three casts today and received many congratulatory and supportive comments.
Questions of how why and when, how many what material and how much. Sam Bellifante was in for the book fair and made a number of positive noises.

Went to the book fair at lunch time and saw some very interesting ideas for the presentation of my Practice in context. Still so much work left to do on that front. I need to ratchet the productivity up now. 3 casts a day to reach 90 by the end of the month and I also need to do all supporting work and written work, plan the filming of the construction process with close ups of winding turning flipping and rolling to emphasise the cyclical nature of the project. I will visit the church on Sunday afternoon and start to move furniture and clean where necessary. Lighting power and other such things to be tested as well as working out the lay out and placement of the bullets.

91 years since Marc Died 91 years since the battle 91 the average number of dead each day in Iraq. 91 bullets arranged into groups some with tops missing some intact. (Maybe) in threes or sevens or tens? Decisions, decisions.

“Oh heaven! Art is long and life is short.” (37)

Finished the last cast of the day and went home followed by work. Not a bad day.

Tomorrow I will see my son.

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(37) Goethe’s “Faust” pp 14, Wagner to Faust.

Thursday the 8th March
Started the morning by going to the library at eight then on to the post office to sort out finances and then on to the lock smith to get the keys cut for the church and then on again to the builders merchant to get the plaster for the bullets, six bags in all.

Back to the studio by 10am unloaded, parked up and then got my first cast of the day done, had a group crit in my space (only one other student turned up had a brief chat and then knocked it on the head).

Cleaned the mould and then went over the park to see David Calder about the hand over of keys. He walked or rather limped with me over to St Marks (been cross country running up near Kirby Lonsdale near the lakes 11 miles in total, silly bugger) and pointed out the furniture that will need to be moved in the next six weeks as they hand over ownership. Then walked back to the studio and showed David some of the work. Had a chat about politics and the meaning of life.

David did a Psychology Degree before becoming a vicar and his opinions were quite enlightening. I made some noise about not being able to effect any change in the world and he disagreed saying that the problem is exactly that kind of thinking. People need to take responsibility for change on an individual level. I thought about this for some time after, to the point where it affected certain choices in the presentation of my work. We shook hands and I moved my car. It had a ticket on it.

Back to the studio and did another cast then went back to the church with Rona and Pete and did an informal risk assessment. Nothing to report of significance. Then went to B&Q with Rona to get some wood for her. Back to the studio and back to the casting. The studio slowly emptied but I continued until 8 when I left for home thoroughly tired and sneezing. I do hope this is not a cold.

Wednesday 7th March
Had a breakthrough the day before last. Built a new wheel system to help spin the mould in one place, constructed two bullets each one remarkably thin. Will carry on for the rest of the week.
I spent yesterday making more casts and arguing with Hammam.

Did some research and reading and also had a chat with Rona about the space and the acoustics. We need to have access now and to go there and sit in and discuss how our work will be seen next to each other. I will not give way too much after all the building was sourced by me and I have driven this forward until now. I like Rona and Im sure we can come to a compromise.

Work was dire last night. Caretaker said "My wife is badly" Is she I replied, at which point one of the women said “I thought she was dead Malcolm”. "That’s right” replied the caretaker. Fuck me that is “badly” I told myself.

March 6th
Early start and straight into the library followed by coffee paper and pan au chocolate. Apparently the stock market is teetering on the brink of collapse, so nothing new there then.

Finished constructing the wheel system for the bullet mould and tried it out, worked a treat, but first cast was week at the bottom and when moved it and placed it back down again it shattered.
Took some pictures of the whole thing when I smashed it and then cleared out the mould and started the process again, needs refining but I could do 3 a day if I was quick on the turn around.

Need to build a roller system so it can be spun on the spot and not rolled back and forth, the negative turn drags the plaster back off and creates and uneven spread of plaster.
Shall do drawings tonight and then go to B&Q for supplies in the AM.

Chuffed and cracking on at a pace now.

Work, home, work. Life is good, now I just need to get fit.

March 4th
Woke up very early and could not stop thinking about work, good thoughts though. Must remember not to over egg the pudding.

The wheel parts for the turning mechanism were cut on Friday and I am almost ready to start developing the process in the last stage of manufacturing. All seems to be a system of revolving circles. Something that I will focus on more in the presentation of the work. Something about the Human condition and the cyclical nature of man, maybe?

Met Jake and Carl at the station at ten on Saturday morning. Grabbed the papers and jumped on the train, started on the Stella at 11 and got into Newcastle for the game at 11.30 just in time to hook up with the Boro lads and find a pub to watch Man U and Liverpool. Drank and talked, had a ham and peas pudding butty before leaving the pub on 90 mins, so didn’t see the one and only goal. Queuing for the match but didn’t get in until 10 mins after the whistle due to the Geordie's being fuck wits on the turnstiles.

Sat in the seats with the Gods looking out over Northumberland and county Durham, the match was shit but great atmosphere with the Boro support. Out of the ground and back to the old pub more drinks and then on to another, quick smoke a bite to eat and then on to the train, more drinks and hilarity. The table opposite, returning from a night at the theatre looked very unhappy at having to breathe the same air as such toe rags. Our behaviour was however masked somewhat by the very rowdy mob in the next carriage singing all the way home.

Train evacuated at Doncaster before finally re routing to Leeds and then at 12 midnight a partial Luna eclipse and more drinks at Mojos and other such bars. Taxi bed.

Got up recovered my thoughts dropped in on Alex to do him a favour then on to the library 4 hours and then on to the Chinese followed by part of the Hammers game, I couldn’t watch, finished 4-3 to Tottenham, gutted. Were going down.

Home, dishes and Cold Mountain, some drinks and bed. What a weekend.

March 1st
Got to dash as its all happening now. Did first cast and its ready to pop out as we speak (or write) so can’t wait? Spent the whole day in the studio and bunked off work. Got some great ideas for the show and also for the manufacturing process.

Picked up the plaster in the morning, (what a fiasco) and spent the rest of the day using it, already used two of the six bags, I feel another trip coming on. 6.30 helped Admore move his sister across town. At 9 went to see Alex. Lots of work done to his house. Had two bits of white bread for my tea while he was on the phone, then went down the pub for a number of well earned sherbets. Hearty laughter and tall stories filled the night. I am in love with life once more.